Thursday, July 30, 2009

The stories we tell

Each person has a story, something that shaped them, molded them, made them who they are today. Because of my many roles - daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother - I have both my own stories and all of theirs. Each of my roles has its own narrative. As well as its own interweaving with another's story. Every time I write an entry, I tend to share more of their stories than my own. At times, I feel inextricably enmeshed in these other stories.

Lately in this blog, the stories have not been mine. They have been kid stories, or diabetes stories, or random thoughts that don't have very much to do with me but instead skim the edges of my own story. One of the items in my now defunct mini-life-list (cruelly slain by that bastard diabetes) was to blog every day. I made that goal in the hope of telling not just more stories, but better stories. It is painfully easy to jot down what my children say through the day, they are more than enough humor for all of us (like last night? Brigit was "ROCK GIRL!!") but in terms of me, and my own story, I'm not sure it tells as much. It doesn't challenge me to go beyond what is said and into the truth. I'm not trying for pretentious depth here, just more exploration maybe? More of me out there? Perhaps we're back to my old friend, free therapy by cathartic soul purging online.

Anyway, these are the thoughts that have been blowing around the attics of my mind. Who am I? What do I write about? I don't identify as a "mommy blogger" because I think it's a limited term. I write about more than my kids, those wacky monsters with their funny shit all day long. I'm not just someone who writes about what it's like to be married to someone with chronic depression, because HELLO, how funny would that be? And I'm also not just telling you what I had for lunch (turkey sandwich with havarti cheese - I love havarti - all those holes?).

So what am I? Tonight I am a wife/mother/writer, enjoying the end of a heatwave, excited about moving this here blog from Xanga to Blogger (you mean I can save a post and publish it when I'm ready? Whaaa?), hungry for more guacamole.

I am Liza, and this is my story.

Friday, July 24, 2009

The post in which I embarass my future teenager

Me: Who made this poopy?

Brig: A goblin do it.

Me: A goblin? How did a goblin get poopy inside of Zipper?

Brig: With a ladder.


Brig: It was a snowball, a muddy snowball.

Me: That's what poop is, a muddy snowball?

Brig: Yup

Thursday, July 23, 2009

An update from our friend, Zipper

Remember Zipper? I know you're all dying for an update. DYING, I say, to learn about what Brigit's bum has been up to. More than you care about diabetic turmoil, am I right?

Tyler: Brigit, what comes out of Zipper?
Brig: Pink when he's closed.
Tyler: And when he's open?
Brig: Purple.

Me: How's Zipper doing, Brig?
Brig: He has babies in him.
Me: Really? How will they come out?
Brig: From his bum. I mean, his zipper.
Me: How did they get in there?
Brig: My grandpa put them there.

Me: Did you have a good day today?
Brig: Yes because of my Zipper. He's my friend.
Me: Isn't Zipper your bum?
Brig: Yes, I love my bum Zipper.

* Yeah, everything's a "he" to Brig - I choose not to be too freaked out (only a little major amount).

Monday, July 6, 2009

Toddler Not A Milestone (but totally should be)

Scene - Morning, Brigit's bedroom

Me: Bring your bumbum over here so we can put on a pull-up.
Brigit: Don't call it a bumbum! It's not yours!
Me: Ok, what should I call it then?
Brigit: Zipper

Saturday, July 4, 2009

If my children could blog

The Adventures of Dorkboy

July 4, 2009

OMGosh, my mom is sooo lame. She wouldn't let us go see the fireworks tonight because of some "it'll be too late" excuse. Like I ever sleep. Sheesh.

And then, when we were watching those totally crappy TV fireworks instead? She wouldn't even let me dance on her head. What's up with that?

So here I am, in my bed and I can HEAR the fireworks going off RIGHT now. And I'm totally still awa...

Princess Brigit Diaries

July 4, 2009

I don't know why mom won't let me stand on my headboard to look out the window. It's not like I'd get hurt. I mean, when I totally walked right off the ottoman, did I cry about my sprained ankle? Um, ok, what about when I snuck out of the tub, totally wet, and ate it on the bathroom floor? Crap.

Fireworks are pretty. So are bunnies. I'm a princess.

Friday, July 3, 2009

What would you do?

Behind this door lies one sleeping girl. One sleeping girl who, having foregone her regular daycare-induced nap, fell asleep at 6 PM, in the midst of a screaming "I'll kick the wall if I want to kick the wall and don't you dare move the chair away from the wall or I will diiiiiieeee" fit.

6 PM. Before dinner. Before teeth brushing.

Before putting on a night-time pullup.

It is now approaching 9:30.

In the inimitable words of Dr Seuss:
"What would you do, if your mother asked you?"

Because I would much rather keep watching the Greatest Movie That Ever Was Ever Is and Ever Shall Be (aka Empire Strikes Back). But I have this fear of waking up to screams at 3 AM, screams accompanied by a soaked mattress. Would you do what I am about to dare- to risk waking the monster in order to secure the pullup?

Wish me luck.

Once more into the breach, we few, we happy few.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Mini Life-list

This post is completely and utterly inspired by Mighty Girl and her Mighty Life List, which, hi, was just sponsored by Intel. And how cool is that? I want to be Maggie Mason when I grow up.

However, to be honest, I am not such a Mighty Liza and am instead more of a medium-sized Liza, with very small goals in my life list. These are things that I hope to achieve in the next, say, three months (or sooner!). And, really, the idea of swimming with bioluminescent anything in Puerto Rico scares the shit out of me.

So without further ado - here is the Mini Life List:

  • Blog every day in July. None of this half-assed cross-month NaBloPoMo this time. I started on July 1 and will end on July 31. (And hi, why didn't I make this goal in February?)
  • Lose 10 lbs. Eh, I first have to convince myself to stand on that old nemesis, Mr. Scale. But I can do this. And I hear that gym membership thing that I have means I can exercise inside the gym and not just visit the emergency childcare area. Who knew?
  • Institute nightly or semi-nightly post-dinner walks with the kids. Did you know that I live in the Northwest? Which has never been prettier (or drier)? Why are we inside?
  • Buy new glasses. With colored frames. I have crooked ears, which means I have crooked glasses. And every day they get more crooked. I know, you're thinking - why does she not wear contacts? And I'll tell you, because they hurt like a son-of-a-bitch every second of every minute that I have them in my eyes. During my day-long interview for the lovely experience that is my job, I had to take the soul-sucking contacts out midway and pretend that I always had these crooked glasses on my face. That's how much I hate them. But I need new glasses because the crookedness is a bit out of hand, plus I broke the tip of one of the arms-things off. So I hereby resolve to get new glasses. And to get new glasses that are NOT tortoiseshell but are instead something fun and colorful. (Which I will probably hate within a few months, just in time for a new mini life list!)
  • Go 1 week without eating anything processed. I was initially going to say, go a week without my family eating anything processed. But I am a realistic working mother.
  • Buy a sundress. I currently dress either like my mother (in my brain that comes out like Click and Clack: "Don't dress like my mother" "Don't dress like my mother") or like a college student. A hung-over college student in a too-big t-shirt and boyfriend jeans. And while my mother is indeed a stylish woman, I am not yet sixty-mumblemumble years old, nor am I 20. There is a happy medium in there, and it lives inside a sundress.
  • Comment more on the blogs that I read. I don't do a good job at participating so much in this community of bloggers. I read a number of excellent blogs each and every day and am sad when Google Reader doesn't have something new from Flotsam or Suburban Bliss, yet I don't do so much of the commenting. I resolve to be better.
  • Learn some kind of heiroglyphic shorthand so I can write notes for blog entries during meetings. Especially long spec meetings where they talk about things like ASPX and WCF, and I am pretending to take scrupulous notes but am really making my mini life list.