Sunday, April 4, 2010

I hesitate to use the word "threat," Easter Bunny, so let's just call this a "suggestion"

This is not funny:

Every year, Easter Bunny, every fucking year this happens and I tell you, no more grass. And every year, you're all, "yeah, yeah, the kids, with the thinking they're zombies and strewing the shit all over the house. Yeah, yeah, I'll remember."

But it's not your head they're licking when they moan for brains, now is it?

Maybe this will help you remember next year to skip the grass, Easter Bunny. Mothers and children and defenseless pirate mice are not the only victims of the Evil Grass.

Even though, I grant that from this angle it looks more lamb than rabbit, I assure you, this is one of your kind (cue INXS song stuck in my head).
So, let's talk about next year. I'm not going to threaten you or anything. I mean, it's not like I saved all that grass to use in some sort of Easter bunny booby trap or anything. I'm just going to say it might be "for the best" if you skip the grass next year.

No comments: